Resolving To Start Anew: How To Bounce Back After A Difficult Year
For most, 2020 has been a roller coaster of a year. From the outbreak of the pandemic to the impact of the election, the mantra of the year seems to be, “It’s 2020, anything can happen.” That’s true every year, but this one in particular rocked people to their core. Feelings of stress, anxiousness, depression, isolation, fear and so many other negative emotions infiltrated minds to devastating effects. But, it’s important to remember — you are not alone.
The entire world has gone through the ringer, and while it may seem daunting to return to “normal,” it can be done by making a few small, intentional, yet impactful, steps. This is not a guide towards new year’s resolutions, but rather advice on how to craft and maintain the life you want despite all the challenges of society, both in the current time and throughout your life.
REFLECT
“We can’t go back and change the past,” reminds Dr. Richard Fulton of Grand Junction. But, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to be gained from reflecting upon it. “You control what you can and accept what you can’t,” he adds. Many people dwell on the inconveniences and stressors of life, which in turn causes more stress by triggering the reactive part of our brains. Instead, Fulton suggests responding thoughtfully to stressful situations.
“The parasympathetic division (PNS) controls body processes during ordinary situations and is responsible for recovery, rest and relaxation,” Fulton explains in his MyRelaxer guide. It’s important to promote parasympathetic activation that will “calm us so we can rest, repair, revive and restore ourselves.”
Dr. Amy Gallagher, a licensed psychologist at Mind Springs Health, adds that “in reflecting you might see areas for improvement” — a practice she refers to as post-traumatic growth. Whether that be on relationships to determine which ones you need to cultivate or grow, about yourself and your fortitude as a person, or maybe a newfound passion for teaching since the kids have been home, reflection can be powerful tool for self-improvement.
ACT
There’s no silver bullet or one-size-fits-all cure for our negative emotions. “You need to build a good foundation,” Fulton says. He suggests the four pillars: sleep, food, movement and gratitude. By making these areas as strong as possible, “you’re positioned to have a great 2021.”
Going to bed earlier and getting at least eight hours of sleep is crucial for your brain to process the day’s stresses and recover, in order to be ready for the next day. Eating healthy foods, mostly plants, and limiting sugars makes our bodies feel more energized and awake, which in turn provide us more energy to practice movement throughout the day. Short walks or even standing while working results in impactful changes to our bodies and attitude. These four pillars are discussed often in society, but the last one is perhaps the most important and least known: gratitude.
“Gratitude is a game changer,” say Gallagher. She suggests finding three things you’re grateful for each day or making a gratitude wall at work for the whole office to partake in. “Happiness from both sides can make a profound impact on everyone.”
Fulton agrees, stating that people who regularly practice gratitude report feeling 25 percent happier.
Boiling it down to just four pillars makes things seem simple. “It is simple,” Fulton agrees, “but not easy. When any of these pillars are out of balance, it causes stress and we react, instead of responding thoughtfully.” Therefore, strengthening each of these pillars simultaneously will lead to a healthy, less stressful life. Let one area slip, and we feel off-balance.
MAINTAIN
However, change doesn’t happen overnight. One area where people struggle the most, Gallagher points out, is waiting to make a change or resolution on December 31. “A snap decision is harder to maintain. Do your due diligence and plan. Prepare for what this change will look like.”
That being said, give yourself grace too. “A habit takes three weeks to form … know you might slip up,” she adds. “When you’re prepared, you can step back in easier.”
We’re all living with uncertainty, but a way to mitigate the stress that typically accompanies this is to establish solid routines. Planning your meals, consistently waking up and going to sleep at the same time and having a designated workspace are all great routines that help set people up for success each day.
Through it all, remember to breathe, which helps regulate us when feeling anxious, overwhelmed and stressed. If things are still feeling difficult, “there’s always help available,” Gallagher reminds. “Therapy helps us cope and understand our emotions.” Contrary to popular belief, therapy doesn’t have to be forever and there are thousands of options out there depending on each person’s specific needs. Many places also offer visits over the phone or video, making help accessible even during the current pandemic.
Additionally, whittling it down to what’s most important for our well-being, like the four pillars, helps limit the stress of having too many options. “Fulfillment comes from achieving a meaningful accomplishment. Ask yourself, ‘what is meaningful that I can accomplish today?’” says Fulton. Honing in on these smaller, manageable steps makes a daunting task feel much more approachable.
Obviously, everyone is a little different, but taking these tips and tailoring them to your life will result in notable change for the better, even if it takes a little time. “Always remember to celebrate the small successes,” Gallagher advises. This makes the path to your overall goal more enjoyable and easier to follow. She recommends drawing a staircase and writing in each step towards the top for a visible representation of your goal. But remember, embarking on your own journey is the best way to figure out what works for you personally. So, take a breath, make a plan and have a great new year.
Originally published in the Winter 2020-21 issue of Spoke+Blossom.